Friday 6 November 2009

Retail Hell

The Westgate Centre. There's a lot of weird shit that goes on in there. It's like a haven for bargain-hungry freaks. Everything in there is either discounted, minus that horrid 'upmarket' streetwear shop John Anthony (or as I like to call it, 'Cunt's Paradise'), or just cheap to begin with. I must say that I have never been in to Cunt's Paradise, just one look at the staff puts me right off, but my friend Matt quite enjoys going in there just to look at the customers. He plays a little game where he tries to guess who can actually afford to shop there, and who has saved up money for weeks on end. I think it's mostly the latter.

Recently they have started putting small stands set up along the centre of the main 'strip', offering sweets, calendars, Sky TV and other generally pointless toss. One stand of particular note is a hair styling company called 'Herstyler'. If I were in charge of this venture, I'd like to make sure that the people running it had made some sort of effort themselves. You really should go and have a look as this disheveled bunch of clowns. A girl who appears not only to have not brushed her hair, but the thought has clearly never crossed her mind? Check! Two effeminate 'dudes' with plasters on their faces? Check! A whole gaggle of gimps, standing to attention with hair straighteners in hand, ready to pounce on some unsuspecting chump? Check! If I was the sort of person interested in that sort of thing I'd at least expect the staff to look as if they knew what they were doing. You wouldn't trust a spotty dermatologist, would you?

Just last week, as reported in the Oxford Mail it seems as though the re-development plans have been shelved until at least 2014, as no-one has any money. This really is a massive shame as I was looking forward to this shitty monstrosity of discount tat get razed like a Vegas casino.

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