Fuck a Duck!

Holy balls. This slice of pure tight-banging gold is probably the most underrated 90's Hip-Hop tune apart from Souls of Mischief's '93 'Til Infinity'. I first heard it on a Scratch Perverts radio session in 1998, then it turned up on a Hip-Hop Don't Stop compilation. I tried to track it down for years (11 to be exact), and finally found a rapidshare link a few months ago. To say I got a boner would be somewhat of an understatement. This tune is so huge it's unbelievable. I have only managed to find this one link, which features the 'A' side to this single first. That has a pretty good beat, but the DJ Spinna mix of 'Verbalise' is the real prize. It starts at 3:36, so please listen and enjoy. It's marvellous.

Still smelling FRESH

This is fucking awesome. I've not listened to it in about 6 years. It's Lootpack, which features DJ/Producer/Genius Madlib. I'm not sure about the accompanying video, but this is the best sounding version I could find. It's off their 1999 album 'Soundpieces : Da Antidote'

The height of laziness

I like a nice cup of tea, most people I know do. Most people I know who make tea will dispose of a used tea bag in it's rightful place - the BIN. Unfortunately the people I work with do not fall into this category. They also seem to have a great deal of trouble with the milk. If you take the milk out of the fridge, surely you'd put it back in afterwards? Or, in one particular case, if someone has left the milk out of the fridge and you make yourself a tea, would you not then put it back where it belongs? No. If you're this particular person you'd put it back where you found it. You might then get asked by somebody WHY you haven't put the milk back in the fridge, only to respond 'I didn't take it out. I was just putting it back where I got it from'. WHERE'S YOUR FUCKING COMMON SENSE!?!

Most of the kitchens I have ever been in tend to contain the both a sink and a bin, normally located fairly near to each other, in close proximity to the kettle. I'd hazard a guess that the average distance between sink and bin is somewhere around a metre. In some cases, like my house, the bin is closer to the kettle than the sink. I would imagine that this has somehow evolved over time since the introduction of the electric kettle.

It really amazes me how lazy some people can be. I will freely admit that I am not the most dynamic person you'll ever meet, but you'll never catch me leaving a tea bag in the sink. It's just fucking nasty.

THE HOTTEST SHIT AROUND!

They're back with a new album, 'Geneva' just 18 months since the last one. That's right, suckers. It's everyone's favourite instrumental 3-piece from Chicago, Russian Circles. It's heavier than 'Station', more melodic than 'Enter', it's their best work to date. Bassist Brian Cook (he of Botch and These Arms Are Snakes fame) commands a solid groove throughout the album, most notably on the title track where his pulsating rhythm fights against Dave Turncrantz's tribal drumming, creating an aura of tension before Mike Sullivan enters with some lush spidery guitar. The musicianship on this record is simply stunning, not that it ever takes focus away from the album as a whole. Post-Rock/Post-Metal/Instrumental Rock/Whatever you want to call it can be a tricky beast; songs have a tendency to drag on, losing the listener's attention. Thankfully Russian Circles manage to avoid this through the taut discipline of their songwriting. There's not a single passage that outstays its welcome.

Knob of the Week!

Look at the smug grin slapped across this chump's face. That's the smugness brought on as a by-product of selling over 30 MILLION albums worldwide. Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen, it's everyone's favourite drive-time dickhead, Chris Rea. It's hard to put into words my particular dislike of this artist without reeling off an infinite stream of expletives, but I shall try my best.

Chris Rea's well-honed brand of 'Soft Rock' has been polluting my ears for longer than I care to remember. I can recall growing up during the 80's, on road trips with my family listening to one of three tapes : Fleetwood Mac's 'Rumours', Dire Straits' 'Brothers In Arms' and Paul Simon's 'Graceland'. All of these albums still hold a lot of memories for me, some good, some bad but mostly they make me think of motorways. Dire Straits and Chris Rea are often lumped in together - both have that lazy-blues-mid-tempo-boogie-woogie element to their music, but where Dire Straits tend to employ that only on about half of their output, Chris Rea doesn't hold back. This gimp applies it liberally over nearly EVERYTHING he has ever produced. Both have that same 'Is he singing or is he speaking' vocal style. Maybe they should have teamed up, and called themselves Dire Rea. That's enough about Dire Straits. I quite like about 4 of their songs, so we'll leave them alone. Back to the main focus.

It's the mid-paced tempo that really offends. It's almost as if it has been purposefully used to soundtrack the drive home after work as you sit in your Mondeo, crawling along some A-road with a thousand other middle-aged wankers like yourself somewhere in Berkshire. Listen to how shit this is! It's unbearable.

Knob Of The Week!

Oh, Chris Cornell. I remember when you used to be cool. Well, not 'cool' as such, I never looked up to you in the same way I did to Eddie Vedder and Kurt when I was all about THE GRUNGE. You were slightly better than Layne Stayley though, and at least you got off the drugs, but I never thought you'd become such a giant douche. From Soundgarden to where you are now, I hope you're proud of yourself. You shouldn't be.

Your first couple of solo outings showed some promise, expecially

'Seasons' from the Singles soundtrack, and 'Euphoria Morning' wasn't

that bad, but what the fuck was up with that James Bond theme? And

don't get me started on fucking AUDIOSLAVE.

This is good :

Do us a favour. Grow your hair again, patch things up with your old band members,

just pretend it's 1992 again.

Vitamin Water, Coffee, Bacon Sandwich

Sometimes I like to remember that I once did a degree in Graphic Design. It was quite a few years ago, so you may forgive me for my memory loss. One day I may even get around to using it for a career.